The Red Thread

One of the most consistent and reassuring themes that we've encountered along the way during our adoption journey is the legend of the red thread. The legend goes:

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,regardless of time, place, or circumstance.The thread may stretch or tangle,but it will never break."

Though originally told in regards to the relationship between man and woman, the red thread has become popular among the community of adoptive parents of children from China.

The red thread is an beautiful way to visualize complex and wonderful feelings that come with adoption. We had viewed the profiles of several other children during this process, all beautiful children, all in need of a family, yet the connection wasn't there. Then, one day, we open an attachment to an email and there she is...our daughter, no doubt.

Every other adoptive family we've had the pleasure to meet or read about has expressed a nearly identical experience..."when we saw him/her, we knew".

We love Chen, every bit as much as if we were waiting for her to be born next month. With the same certainty that we knew we loved Aaron, we already love this little girl. We take pride in the little we know about her accomplishments, cheering as we read about her independent streak, we feel sorrow for the sadness she has endured in her life to this point and we rejoice in the love that we have deep in our hearts for her.

So is there really a Red Thread beyond all the Red Tape? We certainly think so!

A Hug from God

As part of our journey to Chen, we've had to face some obstacles, not the least of which has been financial. We decided early on that the cost, while steep, mattered very little. We're not ones to place too much emphasis on having the biggest house (as anyone who's visited us can attest!), or the fanciest cars, etc., so with some creative juggling, we knew we could find a way.

Recently, we began the process of applying for grants to help offset the cost of travel and fees. There are some wonderful organizations out there that exist to offer help to families like ours. Whether we are approved for any funding or not remains to be seen, but just today we received a most generous gift.

Upon hearing of our quest for funding, the Athens United Methodist Women have contributed to the cause with a cash gift. This was a most unexpected and thoughtful act on their part, and we are just so grateful. When I mentioned this to Wendy, my wonderful assistant at the studio, she said " You just got a hug from God!"

How true.

If you'd like to help, check out our cafepress store by clicking the link at the top right of the blog. We have shirts, bags and more with the Chinese characters for "Forever Family", as well as the always awesome Aaron Rocks shirt! A portion of each sale will help offset our travel expense.

Thanks to all of those who have supported us along the way.

Our Journey to Chen

Our Journey to Chen....

We were a perfectly content family of three. We couldn't have felt more blessed and satisfied with our lives. We discovered early in our relationship that children would be impossible and then the impossible happened. God gave us Aaron. The pregnancy was scary but beautiful. Aaron brings great joy to our life. Long ago, however, a seed was planted in my heart to adopt some day. I'm not sure where it came from but it came to life the more I watched Aaron playing alone. Don't get me wrong, its great being Aaron's playmate but its not the same for him. He began asking and then our hearts began longing. We researched many options to adopt. China seemed to fit our desires the best. And so it began... the exciting yet annoying archeology of our life. Digging up every major and minor piece of our life to compose a story of our ability or inability to be parents. We even combed the pages of Adoption For Dummies to make sure we didn't miss anything that we should be prepared for. We reviewed the costs of many agencies and their overall reputation for success. I literally had to take days off of work to spend time gathering information to prove we were who we said we were. The home study was a strange series of events that left us wondering if we were forcing our destiny where God did not want us to go. Sure, we enjoyed having the opportunity to talk about ourselves and how wonderful our family is and show off the tiny little house we have worked so hard at making comfortable and fun, but we had everything stop when our 1st social worker got fired. Then we had to find another social worker. He was fine except he kept misplacing our paperwork. Upon completing our home study in Oct 07 (we started it all in Jan 07) he informed us that his office was closing and he was out of a job! Our home study was going to be "sitting in a box somewhere." China received our dossier (that's all that paperwork in a small manila envelope) and filed it away December 25th, 2007 where it was not going to even be looked at again until 3-6 years later. We had no idea it would take that long. When we started, the referral time was 18 months. We waited and waited and decided to pursue a special needs child as this was originally what we had planned anyway but our home study agency encouraged us not to. July 19, 2008 we got a call and email with a profile of a child. I tried to open it at work but it wouldn't work. Jim had already seen it but was waiting for my response. It took no more than a second to fall in love. She is beautiful! We had reviewed other children's files but did not have this feeling. We hoped we would. We knew it was meant to be. I was surprised and nervous about Jim's reaction to her special need but he was so excited that I knew she was right for us. Chen was born with a congenital arm deficit of her left arm. It is a small appendage that is approximately 1-2 inches below where her shoulder is. It appears to have a small finger on it. Aaron's reaction was more of my worry. His first words were "OH my goodness! She's so cute! When can we go get her?" Even in her pictures she seemed spunky, content, but also had that longing in her face. So here we are. Its so surreal. I feel like I'm playing house again. Our lives are ready to change. We couldn't feel more blessed.

An Update...Finally

Thanks to everyone who has been checking and waiting for an update. Not much happened for a few weeks and then Bam, a bunch of new developments.

The biggest news of all is that we have a confirmed travel schedule. We leave February 12 from Binghamton, fly to Chicago for a plane change and then off to Beijing. On Sunday, Feb 15, we have "gotcha day ". From there, she stays with us for the remainder of the trip, a total of about 3 weeks, during which we'll have various appointments to arrange for her Visa and custody paperwork. We'll have a considerable amount of down time as well and are looking forward to doing some sightseeing while we're there.

In addition to the finalized arrangements, we also got a surprise gift, an updated report and photo of Aubrey. She's grown so much since her last photos, so we were stunned to see how big she's gotten. And of course, how beautiful she is.

The update was loaded with interesting info. She seems to be thriving as the report says that she feeds and dresses herself and even "cuts the nails herself". She is also a big help with the other children, often carrying 3 diaper bags herself.." 1 in her hand, 1 under her chin and 1 more with her teeth. Obviously, this little girl is determined and resourceful, a perfect match for our family.

We'll post more as time allows during the preperations for the journey.